Vital Football

Latest Morecambe FC News

What do you think of it so far, Eric?

What do you think of it so far, Eric?

Football doesn't get any better than this. On a balmy evening in Morecambe, a large crowd was entertained by a fabulous display of the greatest arts of the Beautiful Game. The moves were fluent, the play intelligent; the atmosphere electric. Only the brilliance of both goalkeepers kept the score down. Before the game, beautiful girls with golden buckets threw Morecambe rock in club colours into the crowd as a marching band entertained the expectant hordes. Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise led out the teams as Placido Domingo conducted the masses in a wonderful rendition of "Bring me Sunshine". It really sounded just like Opera. And then a familiar voice over the tannoy said something that also sounded just like Opera. Or was it... Oprah?:

"Did you ever take banned substances to enhance viewing experience?"

I found myself saying "Yes" in a weak voice which surely didn't belong to me.

"Did you take any other banned substances?"

Before I could stop myself, I had blurted this out:

"All the fault and blame is on me and a lot of that is momentum and I lost myself in all that. I couldn't handle it. The story is so bad and toxic and a lot of it is true."

And then I woke up. Frozen. And realised that I had fallen asleep, so absolutely DIRE was this so-called League Two contest. Then I also realised that the story I could have written about a night as dreary as any I can ever remember watching football really WAS so bad and toxic that I couldn't handle it. And ALL of what I have just written is true.

As far as Morecambe were concerned, Nick Fenton was voted Man of The Match; Captain Will Haining was lucky not to be at least booked for continually fouling Jermaine McGlashan; Ryan Williams and Chris Holroyd both made their debuts as substitutes during the second half and Barry Roche sported a very fetching pair of black tights under his green goalkeeping strip.

As far as Cheltenham were concerned, their outstanding player was the afore-mentioned number eleven. He looked quick, clever and tricky. Sadly, he did himself no favours early on when he made a meal of the contacts he was on the receiving end of and deserved a yellow card for petulantly throwing the ball away when the referee denied him a free kick after about fifteen minutes. After that - very ironically - he behaved himself perfectly, which is more than can be said of the Morecambe defence, who kicked him and generally knocked him about at every possible opportunity as the referee did absolutely nothing whatsoever to protect what was probably the best player on the park.

As far as the game was concerned, it was dreadful, full-stop. There were a few chances for both sides but the match had 0-0 written all over it right from kick-off and I was so cold at the end of it that the effort of recording wonder strikes from Kevin Ellison which only just missed the goal in injury time right at the death or Haining hacking the ball away when Roche was beaten after 46 minutes were almost too much for my frozen fingers. The weather was absolutely bitterly cold and the outlying all-weather pitches had a sprinkling of snow on them. Personally, I was hoping the referee would call it off at any time - and increasingly for any reason: boredom being top of the list. No wonder the final whistle was met by a chorus of boos. And I still can`t feel my toes. If someone had offered me banned substances to block-out the sheer monotony and apparent pointlessness of what was on show at the Globe Arena tonight, I for one would certainly have said 'Yes', Oprah.

Yes Indeed and Yes Please...

Morecambe: 1 Barry Roche; 2 Nick Fenton; 3 Robbie Threlfall; 6 Will Haining (C); 15 Chris McCready; 16 Stewart Drummond; 14 Jordan Burrow (26 Chris Holroyd 68 mins); 17 Andy Fleming (10 Ryan Williams 75 mins); 9 Lewis Allesandra; 11 Kevin Ellison; 18 Gary McDonald.
Substitutes not used: 25 Andreas Arestidou; 23 20; 19 Joe McGee; 27 Jack Redshaw.

Cheltenham: 1 Scott Brown; 2 Keith Lowe; 3 Billy Jones; 6 Steve Elliot; 7 Marlon Pack; 8 Sam Deering; 11 Jermaine McGlashan (Y); 14 Shaun Harrad (9 Darryl Duffy 82 mins); 16 Russell Penn (C); 22 Sido Jombati (Y); 23 Kaid Mohamed.
Substitutes not used: 12 Connor Roberts; 15 Alan Bennett; 18 Jake Taylor; 34 Joe Hanks; 10 Jeff Goulding.

Ref: Eddie Elderton.
Att: 1526.

Apply To Be A Site Editor



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Roger Fitton
Date:Saturday January 19 2013
Time: 11:34AM

Login to post a comment

Recent Morecambe Articles

500,000+ Season Tickets Sold In 2016/17

More than 500,000 Season Tickets were sold in the Football League pyramid for the 2016/17 season.

How Do Morecambe Fare In The BBC's 2016 Survey?

The BBC's Price Of Football survey for 2016 was released a week last Wednesday evening and as ever they looked at everything from the price of tickets through to the price of pies...

1% Rise In Arrest Figures For 2015/16

The Home Office have now released the figures for last season when it comes to arrests at grounds and football banning orders - and it's largely good news.

Aar - Guile!

Morecambe faced top of the League Two table Plymouth Argyle on Saturday on the crest of a slump. From being right at the pinnacle of the division at the beginning of the season, the Shrimps had slumpe

Archived Vital Morecambe Articles

Vital Morecambe articles from

Site Journalists

Write for Vital Morecambe
Write For Vital Morecambe
Apply Here

Current Poll (see more polls)

Crawley v Morecambe
Suggested By:
Morecambe win52%
Crawley win40%
Draw8%

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Carlisle 19 10 8 1 38 14
2 Plymouth 19 12 2 5 38 8
3 Doncaster 18 11 3 4 36 13
4 Portsmouth 19 9 4 6 31 12
5 Luton 19 8 7 4 31 10
6 Wycombe 19 8 4 7 28 1
7 Blackpool 19 7 6 6 27 11
8 Barnet 19 6 9 4 27 0
9 Grimsby 19 7 5 7 26 2
10 Crewe 19 6 8 5 26 -3
11 Cambridge 19 7 4 8 25 -2
12 Mansfield 19 6 7 6 25 -4
13 Yeovil 18 7 4 7 25 -4
14 Stevenage 17 7 3 7 24 0
15 Colchester 19 6 5 8 23 1
16 Crawley 18 6 5 7 23 -6
17 Morecambe 19 7 2 10 23 -13
18 Hartlepool 19 5 7 7 22 -4
19 Notts County 19 6 4 9 22 -8
20 Accrington 19 5 6 8 21 -5
21 Exeter 19 6 2 11 20 -5
22 Leyton Orient 19 5 3 11 18 -5
23 Cheltenham 19 3 9 7 18 -8
24 Newport 18 4 5 9 17 -5
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Vital Football Comment

Recent Morecambe Results (view all)

Morecambe Fixtures (view all)

Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Newport County (a)
Sky Bet League Two
Dec 17 2016 3:00PM : Cheltenham Town (H)
Sky Bet League Two
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Mansfield Town (a)
Sky Bet League Two
Dec 30 2016 7:45PM : Hartlepool United (a)
Sky Bet League Two
Jan 2 2017 3:00PM : Crewe Alexandra (H)
Sky Bet League Two
Jan 7 2017 3:00PM : Notts County (H)
Sky Bet League Two
Write for Vital Football